Wednesday, March 14, 2018

Update on Jerry Jones vs. the NFL




Absolutely unbelievable.  Jerry Jones has officially gone soft.  

He caved.  It took almost zero effort on the NFL's part.  One measly fucking hearing and he just gave up.  I was expecting a dog fight and Jerry just rolled over like a fat little pug. Stick a fork in him folks, he's done.

An absolutely pathetic effort from a once-great man.  Today is a tragic day indeed, and by today I mean a couple of days ago when this actually happened.  I should have written about it but I chose to drink and watch basketball instead.  I do not regret the decision, but at the same time I understand your frustrations with me being very late to the conversation.  I don't know what you tell you, it is what it is.

Where was I?...Right, the NFL lost a legend this week - a man who once swung the biggest of dicks, but alas, no more.  Gone are the days of party bus Jerry, and strip club Jerry; he has finally been neutered by Roger Goodell and the rest of the other owners.  They finally stood up to the bully and he cowered in fear.  Not only am I definitely mad, I am also incredibly disappointed in one of the all-time great assholes.  No pouting?  No temper tantrums?  No leaked information or planted gossip?  What world am I living in?

Nope, none of that, just folding and maturely accepting punishment and holding himself accountable for his actions.

Disgusting.  I'm disgusted.




Live look at the former king...

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The Battle Over Charles Manson's Body is Finally Over...and It Was Weird as Fuck

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Source - A grandson of cult leader Charles Manson won the bizarre California court battle Monday over the killer's body.


Kern County Superior Court Commissioner Alisa Knight ruled that Jason Freeman can retrieve Manson's remains, which have been on ice in the Bakersfield morgue since he died in November.

Freeman didn't immediately comment but previously said he would cremate and spread the ashes of Manson and put to rest "this so-called monster, this historical figure that shouldn't have been blown up as big as it was for all these years."

Manson died in a hospital in Bakersfield while serving a life sentence for orchestrating the 1969 killings of pregnant actress Sharon Tate and eight others. He was 83.

The fight over his corpse devolved into a circus of sorts with friends filing competing wills purportedly signed by the infamous inmate while kin began to come out of the woodwork to also stake a claim to the killer's body and an estate that could include lucrative rights to songs Manson wrote or to license his image and other material.

While the decision clears the way for Manson to be cremated or buried, the battle for the body foreshadows what lies ahead as the same competing camps wrestle for control of the estate.

The case in Kern County was brought by the coroner's office, which said it wanted to quickly resolve the matter because bodies were piling up at the morgue from the methamphetamine and opioid epidemics.

The three-way fight for the body was between Freeman, Michael Brunner, a man who said he was fathered by Manson, and Michael Channels, a pen pal who collected and sold Manson memorabilia and filed what he said was the cult leader's will.

The three all tried to cast doubt on the authenticity of the competing claims and Freeman largely won out because of deficiencies with the other petitions.

Knight said the will submitted by Channels was problematic, in part, because he was one of the two witnesses while also sole beneficiary. It was also ambiguous about what would be done with Manson's body other than for Channels to use his judgment as executor.

"All I wanted to do was take the dude's ashes and dump them in the desert where he wanted," said Channels, who said he was more upset that Freeman prevailed over Brunner, who he believes is Manson's legitimate son. "I'm irate. That Jason Freeman, he just pulled the wool over the whole system's eyes."


With all of the excitement around March Madness and the nonstop political coverage on the news, it is easy for a gem of a story such as this one to fall through the cracks.  Trust me, I get it.  There is a lot going on right now: Trump is meeting Kim Jong Un, the single greatest sporting event of the year is upon us, baseball is kicking off, and hockey and basketball playoff races are heating up.  You can't always be up to date on the latest Charles Manson news, I mean who really can these days?

Glad you asked, friend.  I can, and I'm hear to tell you all about it.



First, let us begin with the plaintiffs.  I don't think they are actually plaintiffs since this isn't a criminal case per se, but that's what we are going to call them and we can just let the nerds lawyers sort it out later.  Full disclosure, I am also not sure if that was the correct use of "per se."  


Plaintiff #1 - Jason Freeman.  Alleged Grandson of Charles Manson

Jason is the alleged grandson of Charles Manson. I say alleged because some people* claim he isn't really Charles Manson's grandson at all.  Why a sane person would lie about being related to a sociopathic murderer, I do not know.  He is the big winner in all of this, being granted the lovely gift of a dead body; one that has been sitting in a cooler since November.  It is also the body of a very old dude which, needless to say, definitely makes it all the more gross.  Also has a video online of him with his little kid while the kid is playing with a Charles Manson doll, forehead swastika and all.  The court deemed Mr. Freeman as a "surviving competent adult next of kin," a glowing review.  Clearly they were very impressed.

*Pretty sure the only people accusing him of not being Charles Manson's grandson are the ones he is in a legal battle with.

Plaintiff #2 - Michael Brunner.  Alleged Son of Charles Manson

Brunner is probably one of Manson's bastards.  Aside from someone misspelling Manson's middle name on Brunner's birth certificate there is a lot of evidence that would suggest as much.  He will 100% be suing Freeman again in the near future and is expected to drag this out as much as humanly possible.  He may or may not want the body so he can takes pictures of it and sell them on the internet, an extremely entrepreneurial move.  How much does a photo of a dead cult leading murdered fetch?  Good question, I guess only time will tell.

Plaintiff #3 - Michael Channels.  Memorabilia Collector and Friend of Charles Manson.

Channels is a pretty chill memorabilia collector who just wanted to "take the dude's ashes and dump them in the desert where he wanted."  Interestingly enough, Channels is one of two memorabilia collectors who were friends with the deceased.  There must be some crazy underground market for Manson memorabilia because I can't imagine how much money it would take for me to talk to a psychotic killer on a regular basis.


The Dilemma

Each of these strapping young gentlemen came forth with their own wills claiming to be the rightful heir to the body, as well as his estate which is expected to also be tied up in court for the foreseeable future.  In the end, Freeman won because the other two wills were essentially deemed to be more fake than Freeman's - which is also very possibly fake.  




My Conclusion

Far be it from me to play judge or jury, but I actually think I'm with Brunner here.  What sold it for me, you ask?  

Easy.  The support of Matthew Lentz...another alleged bastard son of Manson.  

The story of Lentz' mother meeting Manson is almost too romantic.  I think it safe to say that it truly was the fairy tale that every girl dreams about when they are little.  If you don't believe me, maybe this will change your mind.

There they were.  Their eyes met across the room of a Wisconsin orgy.  Right off the bat there was undeniable chemistry.  They couldn't tell if it was the booze, the LSD, or just the right amount of both.  Manson walked across the living room, dodging limbs and liquids like Neo from the Matrix, eyes locked on Lentz' nameless mother the entire time.  Upon reaching the end of his brief journey, he walked right up to her and they embraced - Ms. Lentz' pressing her bosom up against the young cult leader.  They hadn't spoken a word to each other, but there was never anything that needed to be said.  That was it...they banged.





What did I tell you?  Super cute, right?  Nothing warms my heart like a good love story.  Unfortunately, it sounds Manson pretty much bailed after he got Matthew's mom pregnant, but you know what they say.  Better to have loved and lost.