Tuesday, December 12, 2017

Jose Canseco Takes To Twitter To Address The Recent Sexual Misconduct Scandals














Any time a major social or political scandal breaks, I typically like to sit back and let the facts come out from both sides before making any judgment.  Sometimes it's wise to allow the truth to unfold instead of jumping at the first sign of scandal.  Then once the dust has settled I like to check in with Jose Canseco to see what he has to say about it because he almost always has the most interesting perspective on the matter at hand.  Is he usually right?  No, actually, quite the opposite.  He usually gets way off topic and confuses not only himself, but everyone else witnessing.

Here we have Canseco's take on the recent sexual misconduct scandals breaking nationwide.  Initially Jose tries to empathize, saying he too had been molested in the past.  But before anyone can mistake his "shared struggle" for empathy, he immediately does a 180 and tries to big league everyone by saying he never complained.  Kind of a bold move to basically call sexual assault victims pussies and snitches, but hey Jose Canseco is kind of a bold guy.  




Then he takes it a step further.  Not only did he not complain about these injustices, but they actually made him horny!  At this point we come to realize that Jose Canseco doesn't really understand what being molested means.  Even without any sort of sexual context, the word 'molest' basically means bother, pester, harass.  An unwanted or undesired advance.  Jose readily admits that he welcomed said advances, thus hinting at the fact that he does not in fact understand what molestation is.  Fascinating stuff.  




Now Jose thinks he's got it all figured out.  So you see, because he was a good looking dude it wasn't molestation when he banged those chicks, BUT if he "looked like a bag of boogers" then it would be...




...So this is a little worrisome...At this point I'm pretty sure Jose is unknowingly hinting at the fact that he may have sexually harassed a few women in his day and is just now "realizing" that they haven't publicly accused him of it because he was hotter than these political nerds.  Honestly I never really know what he's trying to get at so we should probably just keep moving on.




And then to convolute things even further, Jose basically admits he doesn't fully understand what racist means because he confuses it with prejudiced.  And that's why I love Jose Canseco on Twitter.  He's the only person whose tweets consistently provide me with significantly more questions than answers.  


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