World Famous Scrabble Superstar Allan Simmons Banned for Cheating, Devastating the Sport

Source - The Association of British Scrabble players has banned a star player for three years after an investigation found that he had broken the rules. 

Allan Simmons, who had written books on the game, contributed game coverage to The Times. However the newspaper has said it will no longer use his work as a result of the ban. 

Three witnesses described seeing him put a hand with freshly drawn letter tiles back into the scrabble bag to pick new tiles – breaking the rules. Elie Dangoor, a committee member of the association, said: ‘The natural conclusion had been that he had been cheating.’ 

Simmons told the Times he denied cheating, and that he had suffered the same ‘untimely bad luck from the bag as anyone else.’ 

‘You have to remember that at the top level, games can be quite intense and there’s a lot going through one’s mind let alone remembering to religiously ensure tile drawing rules are followed meticulously,’ Simmons told the Times. 

‘From the outset I have said that no one is beyond suspicion and complied fully with the investigative process. There’s no one person bigger than the game,’ Dangoor said. The Times quoted him as saying he planned to concentrate on ‘more important things in life.’



Just an absolute bombshell out of the competitive board games community today as longtime Scrabble legend Allan Smmons was found guilty of cheating and banned from the very YMCA basements and high school gyms he dominated for such a long time.  I, like many of you, grew up idolizing Simmons and the way he played the tiles - marveling at his worded wizardy as he coasted to five British Matchplay Scrabble Championships, four Scottish Championships, three UK Masters titles, as well as the UK National Scrabble Championship once.  Who could forget?

I'm still absolutely reeling from the news, personally.  I never in a million years thought Simmons would become the Alex Rodriguez of the board gaming universe, it just seems so out of character.  Luckily the ban is only for 3 years so he should be able to make a comeback attempt as long as his body will let him.  Athletes bodies all quit on them eventually, it's just a matter of when.  

Toddler Acquires Alpha Status in Canadian Household

Source - A Canadian mother has won social fame for her unique response to her child's wall drawing.  

Dr Eric Massicotte returned home to find his wife had framed and labelled their child's wall scribble like a gallery pieceTwitter Ads info and privacy


He posted photos to Twitter, "Your kids are going to do things they shouldn't. It helps if you married someone with a sense of humour."

The thread has been liked more than 80,000 times and re-tweeted over 30,000 times. 

Twitter users were quick to share their own stories of errant children, from head-sized holes in walls to constantly disappearing cutlery.

This right here is exactly why the internet is frustrating to me, just everyone basically running around and patting themselves on the back for doing nothing, literally nothing.  A couple Canadians were too timid and polite to yell at someone...wow you don't say.  Staggering news.

And by no means am I trying to dog on our neighbors to the North. Everyone who knows me knows I love Canadians.  I have tons of Canadian friends, I once hooked up with a Canadian, my little sister once brought home a Canadian guy and the whole family was super chill about it.  I am all Canada all the time but enough is enough.  Canada's adults need to start sticking up for themselves otherwise this up and coming generation of new millenials is going to eat those folks alive and rip that country to shreds from the inside out.  These kids are going to walk all over their parents for the next 50 years if they don't start establishing some ground rules immediately.  Rule #1: if you suck at art, your shit doesn't get to stay on the wall, and if your picture looks like if a Christmas tree fucked a house, that qualifies as not being good enough for the wall.

It might seem like an overreaction but his is how it all starts.  First they let the kid get away with drawing on the walls and then what's next, murder? 

Could be.

The Jacoby Brissett Trade Looks Genius Right Now

I've been talking to a few of my buddies all day about the Colts game, arguing over whether or not winning games is good because we want to get as high a pick as possible.  That is absolute bullshit.

I'm a firm believer that you should always try to compete.  Sure, some teams are just way better than others, but you always want players to have that mentality that winning is always priority number one.  I also pointed out that these late game situations are invaluable for Jacoby Brissett.  Because IF (and it's still a huge if) Andrew Luck takes longer than expected, we don't want the team at a stand still while we wait.  Jacoby Brissett is the quarterback of the Indianapolis Colts for the foreseeable future, and he's been doing a damn good job so far given the circumstances. 

And if Luck is ready to go at the start of next season, the we'll have a legit backup QB for the first time this century.  All I'm saying is giving up a receiver isn't really a terrible loss considering these three things:

1. We don't have our franchise signal caller to throw the ball.  Obviously Brissett has done well, but who would have expected him to have come in and shown this kind of competency right off the bat as a second year, third string guy?  Not me that's for sure.
   
2.  We have plenty of receivers.  Kamar Aiken, TY Hilton, and Donte Moncrief are all better options.  And with Jack Doyle also getting grabs there really wasn't ever a ton of balls for Dorsett, especially when he's basically a worse version of TY.  Maybe we lost a little something in the return game but that's about it.
   
3. Dorsett was drafted by Ryan Grigson, noted cunt.  His complete and utter lack of success rate speaks for itself.  Pretty fucking terrible.  Dorsett never had a chance.

The Bella Vista Baptist Church is Nasty As Fuccc

Source - A church in Florida is changing its outdoor sign after a message about forgiveness was misinterpreted by many as a sexual innuendo.

The white board outside the Bella Villa Baptist Church in Edgewater read on Friday: 'Forgiveness is swallowing when you want to spit.'

A woman in the community posted the sign on Facebook, saying she was driving past the sign and made a U-turn to come back and take a photo.

Several commented on the hilarious post, with one person writing: 'Don't think they thought this through.'

Others wrote: 'I can't believe it.' 

Another posted the photo on Instagram and captioned it: 'I think someone is a little mad at their wife.'

Representatives from the church told Local 10 News the sign was 'completely innocent' and was 'intended as encouragement to forgive'.



I touched on the terrors of Florida in the previous blog, this is one of the few beauties.  Just an incredibly unique and vivid interpretation of the good lord's word.  Amen, indeed!

And fuck the representatives of the church. Not for saying it was completely innocent, that part is totally legit.  It's a completely harmless joke, but that's exactly what it clearly is - a joke.  You can't stick a giant sign with bold letters in our face talking about spitting and swallowing and not know exactly where our minds are going.  Shame on you Bella Vista Baptist Church.  

I Am 100% Not OK With Bears Walking Around Florida Fucking With Dogs

Source - FORT LAUDERDALE - Three-year-old Mary Jane is one lucky, and loyal, dog. She has extensive serious injuries after being attacked by a bear.

It happened near Ft. Lauderdale - an unusual place for bear sightings.

Mary Jane was being taken on an evening walk when she took off running. Her veterinarian says the dog was playing with a bear cub when the mama bear jumped in. Then Mary Jane seemed to focus on protecting the woman walking her.

"So her wounds are pretty extensive,” explained Dr. Ashley Villatoro with Ft. Lauderdale Veterinary Specialists. “We always worry about wounds to the body wall. But in her case, she was very lucky."

The dog has a lot of puncture wounds all over her body.

But doctors say she's doing remarkably well and should go home soon.


First and foremost, big time shout out to the hero of this whole situation - Mary Jane.  Unbelievably brave, pretty, and very good girl.  I know some people think it's overplayed but dogs really are the fucking best, and I for one will never tire of singing their praises.  To be honest, I feel like the internet era is the first time we're really all appreciating the awesomeness that is man's (or woman's, not tryna be sexist) best friend together, as a group.  Feels good.

Secondly, this is clearly the owners fault.  I don't mean to stereotype here but if you name your dog Mary Jane then you are 1000% percent a stoner and the fact that this owner is anonymous in this whole ordeal makes me question their legitimacy.  I would put all my money on the chick walking MJ being stoned as fuck, she was probably marveling at an iguana walking along a fence or something because remember, we are in Florida.  Meanwhile, super friendly girl Mary Jane was trying to goof off with a bear cub only to come face to face with Big Mama.  Scary!  But she made it out alive with a few scrapes, but she's recovering so that's good news.
.
Overall I don't really know how to react, I'm torn.  I fuck with bears big time.  Pedals the Bear is one of the all time funniest animals and from what I've read, is a big time sweetheart and not a total piece of shit despite being from New Jersey.  

But at the same time if I have to choose Team Bear or Team Dog, there's not even a choice.  I don't want to say we should go to Florida and kill all the bears - mostly because I don't want to step foot in Florida - but at the same time, Mary Jane deserves some form of justice, right?  I guess it's not my dog so I really shouldn't give two shits, but MJ is a real ride or die bitch and those are very hard to come by.

 Compromise: If a bear hurts my dog I'm going to kill it because I'm a good owner and wouldn't let my dog try to sacrifice itself for my own well-being without also showing it that I, too ride or die.  BUT if it happens in Florida we just kind of leave it alone.  

Also, how about this line..."It happened near Ft. Lauderdale - an unusual place for bear sightings."  

I don't know who the author of this is, it doesn't say, but if you live in Florida and are surprised by what animals you're seeing, then you have not lived in Florida for a very long time.  Florida has GIANT SNAKES from FUCKING ASIA that have just become native, they are currently dominating all other small animals and fucking up the Everglades.  Florida has big cats, feral cats, pigs, snakes, gators, crocs, bugs scientists don't even know about. It's one big science experiment with mutant animals and live human testing for the next generation of amphetamines.  What a place, man, what a place.

UPDATE: 

Upon doing further research on Pedals the Bear I have unfortunately learned that he is widely believed to be dead, murdered by some nefarious hunter in New Jersey.  Just an absolutely tragic turn of events.  One second you're flipping through old Pedals the Bear gifs and videos, the next he's dead.  RIP Pedals, the world lost a real one.

Pacers Lose to Knicks in Pretty Awful Fashion...Related Note: Kristaps is Not Human

Well that fucking sucked.  That was absolutely not a game we should have lost.  We jumped out to a commanding lead in the first quarter, everyone was cooking from the get go.  We were getting great looks the entire time - obviously Victor had a pretty tough shooting night going 7-21 from the field which wasn't ideal - but we were still getting the looks.  Open shots all over the fucking joint.

Sabonis came off the bench and gave us another solid 16 points and 8 rebounds, continuing his phenomenal play.  Collison did his thing with 15 pts, 10 dishes, 5 boards, and a couple steals.  Overall, offensively we played another pretty damn good game.  Most of the time when you connect on 47% of your shots, 48% of your 3 pointers and don't turn the ball over a ton you're going to come out with the win.  That was not the case this time and again it came down to the rebound battle.  Well, that and Kristaps Porzingis, who I'm gonna have nightmares about for at least the next week.

I'm not even kidding.  This is serious right now, I'm being serious.  Someone explain to me how in the fuck does a 7'2, 260 lb human being move the way he does?  And it's not just freakish size and athleticism either.  Giannis Antetekoumpo is stupid tall and gangly and absurdly agile and nimble but he doesn't have anywhere near the touch KP has, not even close!  I wish he did and hope he does because that would be super dope to see, but he just doesn't because people that size shouldn't be able to do all that stuff.  Kristaps Porzingis may very well be the single most talented player in the NBA which sounds crazy but all of the tools are there.  He still hasn't perfected them yet, but damnit if I didn't say it looks like he's making strides just fine.

Also, due credit to Enes Kanter and Frank Ntilikina.  Ntilikina's defense in the second half down the stretch gave Oladipo fits and helped to create a few turnovers that led to easy Knicks buckets.  Kanter was the difference on the boards plain and simple: 18 rebounds total, 7 of which were offensive.  Second chance points were huge and we just didn't get nearly enough.  The good news is we should have a suuuuuuper easy game rebounding with AD, Boogie, and the Pelicans coming to town Tuesday...

What to Focus on With The Pacers This Season

Here we are again, another glorious season of Indiana Pacer basketball is upon us.  Obviously this post is a little late to the game as the season is already a couple weeks old and the we are absolutely cooking, so without further ado here is what to look for in the upcoming season knowing what we already know.


1.  As far as the roster itself goes, the three major additions are those guys shown above: Victor Oladipo, Domantas Sabonis, and Darren Collison.  Oladipo and Collison should be familiar since Victor was a dominant force on a couple Hoosier teams several years ago and Collison was someone who spent a couple years as a key role player on the team soon after entering the league.  

So far, the early looks at all three of these guys have been about as good as you can ask for.  Victor Oladipo has looked like one of the league's newest up and coming stars in the early going and a good part of his success is owed to Darren Collison and his ability to push the ball and find Oladipo in transition.  Vic is an otherworldly athlete, and one thing about guys with his speed and explosiveness is that they all want to play fast.  Collison has done a phenomenal job of initiating transition offense and finding not only Oladipo, but Myles Turner as well.  He should be one of the more invaluable veteran presences this team has.  Dare I say a real hard hat, lunch pale type.

Speaking of Myles Turner, his presence has had an incredible impact on Domantas Sabonis' game.  Sabonis likes to play in the post, closer to the basket.  There's a reason he likes it so much - he feasts down low.  His post game is still developing but for such a young player, he already has a variety of moves down low and is a clear presence on the glass. In Oklahoma City, Steven Adams was also banging in the paint, eating up a lot of the space that Sabonis typically operates in.  With Myles Turner opposite him - a player that can play down low but is also athletic and nimble enough to play a perimeter game - Sabonis got his sweet spot back and boy does it show.  Since he is still so young and only in his second professional season, there's hope that he's just scratching the surface of his full potential.  Plus his dad is a beast and you gotta love having Arvydas around. One of the GOAT big man passers.


Swag.

2. Development is the big goal here.  We obviously want to win games, but for the most part this roster is going to have two full years to play together.  What we're going to be looking for is both individual development as well an increased level of comfort with each other as the season progresses.  Familiarity is huge, and operating as a unit is the only way to win in the playoffs.  A couple superstars doesn't guarantee wins, the entire team needs to function. Having all of your most significant pieces together for as long as possible pays dividends, so the fact that we have a couple years to watch this group is a very good sign, especially given these early performances.

We aren't the youngest roster but we are very much on the younger side.  Typically younger teams are a little more trigger happy and tend to be a little sloppy offensively.  That is not currently the case with us.  Currently we are ranked 5th in points per game, 4th in field goal percentage, and 6th in 3 point field goal percentage.  The offense is humming right now and has been pretty damn consistent up to this point.

As for the defense, well, the defense is giving up 108 points per game so not ideal.  For me, the most disappointing area is our rebounding.  We should be ranked higher than 15th.  Hopefully, after they have had a little while to develop, rookies TJ Leaf and Ike Anigbogu can contribute to that department off the bench a little more.  Both are very raw, especially Anigbogu.  Leaf already has a nice little jump shot, so he should be the one to break through with more minutes early on.


3. We have cap space to add players.  We have one of the lowest payrolls in the league and a young core group of players.  A lottery pick looks like it might be out of the question if we continue to play like this, but that doesn't mean we can't add any impact free agents.  A lot of this year will be about identifying holes in our game and figuring out how to address them; whether it be through drafting/developing or free agency remains to be seen.  

GM Chad Buchanan appears to have done very well with his first major transaction - moving Paul George to OKC for Sabonis and Oladipo.  People were dogging our acquisitions but it's looking as if the gamble was worth it.  Unfortunately for Buchanan he took over pretty much the shittiest situation possible, having a star player who already made it known he was leaving when he could, all the while hinting towards going specifically to Los Angeles.  Once that was pretty much universally acknowledged as fact, bidders weren't as willing to give up the farm for a single year of a guy they wouldn't be able to re-sign.  Thank you for that Paul, that was super helpful.  Still, it will be interesting to see how Buchanan fills in the remaining pieces of the puzzle.

As for Nate McMillan, everything looks good early on with the exception of the defense.  Oladipo and Turner are both defensive STUDS so for us to be giving up 108 points a game is unacceptable.  But it's early and I expect them to improve.  Until next time: blue collar, gold swagger bitcc.






PS - Bonus Arvydas Sabonis highlights.  Lithuanian Legend.

Check Out These Two Hardos Fighting in the Middle of the Street

Can you believe these fucking guys?  Such a hardo move to fight in the middle of the street, especially in broad daylight.  I mean this is unbelievable, holding up traffic and shit, all so they can try to flex on one another?  I mostly blame the one who gets rag-dolled literally the ENTIRE time.  Just absolutely bullied by the other one.  Pushed across the road and into the construction.  Pathetic.  At this point that guy is more nuisance than anything.  If you keep coming at the big dawg eventually he's going to have to put you in your place, and that's exactly what we have here.  

You think they planned this at the construction site like back in grade school.  3:00, construction site, be there or be square.  And the fact that they had one of their buddies come film it is another big time try hard move.  Like dude, you seriously want to put this up on youtube?  Do you have any idea how bad that's going to look after college when you're looking for a job?  Obviously not, otherwise this video wouldn't exist.  Gonna be tough to make a buck that way, kid.  Just poor decision making all around.  

I would be remiss to not include a shout out to two of the biggest hardo deer of all time...

Michigan Man Charged With Stealing a Watch, Two Bowling Rings, and a Pistons Hat from the Casket at a Funeral

Source - FLINT, Mich. –  A community advocate in Michigan has been ordered not to attend open casket funerals as part of a plea deal reached in a theft case.

Art Wenzlaff, 76, was accused of taking a Detroit Pistons hat, a Timex watch and two bowling alley rings from a casket during a funeral service for his coworker's father in Mundy Township. He was sentenced Monday to one day in jail and five years' probation, the Flint Journal reported .

Wenzlaff pleaded no contest in August while facing charges of larceny in a building and disrupting a funeral or memorial service.

The larceny charge, which can carry a prison sentence, will be dismissed if Wenzlaff completes the probationary period without further issues, according to his attorney, Michael Manley.

Wenzlaff reached the plea deal because he "did not want to put the family through the stress of a trial," Manley said.



This is a classic fuck you old man move.  Art Wenzlaff isn't some petty thief who gets his rocks off stealing from dead folks.  No, Ol' Art has been carrying a grudge for whoever this dead guy was for decades.  This beef goes way the fuck back, and the entire time it was going on, Art has been thinking in the back of his mind that one day, when that motherfucker dies, he'll show him what's what.  Art probably hatched this plan before Y2K, maybe even some time around the end of the Cold War.  This feels like a Cold War era grudge from what I know about them.  A Timex watch and two bowling alley rings, that's personal.  There's a history behind that, history that I feel investigators left uncovered to the utter dismay of us all.  Do not worry guys, I too am upset we will never know the full story.

At the same time though, I could be totally wrong.  Art did take a plea deal...maybe he didn't want the fuzz snoopin' around his spot.  Say he had been stealing things out of caskets for as long as he can remember.  He doesn't need no lizzie lice driving around asking questions to his neighbors, all his old friends, the folks he's been swindling for god only knows how long. They would ruin his whole plan, take all of his trinkets and trophies!  He couldn't afford that, not with all the work he's put in, the hundreds of individuals he's hoodwinked over the course of his career in which case, crisis averted.  That plea deal was his saving grace. One day in the clink and then he's home free; child's play.  Ol' Art lives to steal again, back on his grind.  Of course funerals had sort of become his bread and butter in recent years and usually it was always so easy...




"Back to the drawing board," Art mutters to himself before pouring a glass of bourbon and sauntering down into the basement.

He lifts his hand and waves it in the darkness looking for the string.  He finds it and gives it a yank, lighting up the cold concrete room.  

The walls are littered with bowling rings, trophies, license plates, watches, bracelets and necklaces, all glinting as they dangle on nails all along walls of the room.  The fourth side of the room is one giant work in progress.  A Detroit sports themed quilt made entirely of pieces of cloth from fan gear he has stolen from various homes, tailgates, and funerals over the years.

"They almost got us," Art says right before taking a sip of the bourbon. He flicks off the light and heads upstairs.  They almost got him.

Some Dude Shot Himself in the Dick After Stealing a Stack of $1 Bills From a Hot Dog Stand

Source - A man in Chicago paid a hefty price when he tried to rob a hot dog stand —  he accidentally shot himself in the penis during the getaway.

Terrion Pouncy, 19, held two employees of Maxwell Street Express at gunpoint early Monday morning, demanding that they hand over their wallets and the restaurant's cash, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.

At the time of the robbery, one of the victims reportedly had been carrying a large bucket of grease. With the gun pointed at his head, the employee was trying to hand over a stack of $1 bills but the bucket slipped and the money flew out of his hands.

Pouncy grabbed the fallen money and started to run away while trying to secure his gun at his waist. But as he fled, the gun accidentally went off and shot him in the penis, the Sun-Times said.

The thief didn’t make it very far before the pain of his injuries took over and he collapsed in front of a house nearby.

He was taken to Christ Hospital, where he was later arrested by the Chicago Police and charged with two counts of armed robbery, the Sun-Times said.

As of Thursday, he was reportedly still in the hospital and unable to attend a bond hearing. The judge ordered him held without bond. 



First let us just appreciate the beauty that is the irony of this situation.  Shooting off your dick while trying to steal from a place known for handing out wieners is one cruel twist of fate.  Karma is one nasty bitch and and this poor bastard got cockslapped by Karma about ten seconds into a major, major fuck up.  Don't get me wrong, stealing is bad and I am on the record as saying you shouldn't point guns at people, but this guy's haul wasn't even going to be anywhere close to worth it.  A stack of $1 bills are you kidding me, bro? That is the exact point our guy Terrion should have been taken a step back and re-evaluated the situation.  



Terrion (thinking): Damn all they got is singles? Is all this hassle really even worth it for that?

Grease all over the place, grabbing gross wet soggy singles off the ground and stuffing them into your pockets, at that point your day already sucks and your clothes are ruined.  

Now add shooting your dick off into that mix.  It makes the whole situation like way, way worse than before.  And on top of that, I'll bet you dollars to dogs that after young Terrion collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain, he came to and slowly opened his eyes to see nothing but pictures of wieners and other dick shaped tubed meats all around the room, lit up and staring him directly in the face, laughing at his misfortune.  

Big time buzzkill.  That's why I've always said I'll never rob a hot dog stand, this story right here.

McDonald's Worker Held Up At Gunpoint After Explaining They Were Out of McMuffins

Source - He’s not lovin’ it.

Ohio Police are looking for a man who drew a gun Wednesday after being told by a McDonald’s drive-thru worker that the store was out of Egg McMuffins.

The incident occurred shortly after 3:30 a.m. at a McDonald's in Warren, a small town in Northeast Ohio.

Police said the worker told them that the driver called her a vulgar name after pulling out the gun and cursing at her before speeding away.

Warren police are using surveillance video footage in hopes to identify the two men.



Listen, this is clearly not acceptable.  You just can't be going around and waving a gun in someone's face because they don't have an Egg McMuffin.  And from what it sounds like this guy didn't even ask about the other options; did they have sausage and cheese, maybe the Egg White option?  I know it's late and you want the greasy, unhealthy stuff.  You're hammered, you're starving, buddy we've all been there.  But McDonald's has so many delicious choices and I feel like this guy was just being a persnickety little biatch who wasn't even trying to meet halfway.  Totally unreasonable if you ask me, I mean come on what about the biscuit and bagel options?  Both absolute home runs. Live a little, have some adventure in your life, the familiar option isn't always the best option.

Personally, I would have preferred a McGriddle anyway, especially at that hour.  3:30 sausage McGriddles will taste so good and make you feel so incredibly shitty that taking your clothes off, laying down in the fetal position, covering yourself in a blanket and sleeping is essentially the only option you really have. But I digress.

It's unfair for us to assume he did not ask about the rest of the menu.  We weren't there.  Perhaps my dude with the gun did explore his options and was turned down at every avenue.  That would be infuriating...but you still probably shouldn't point the gun at someone.  But if you absolutely have to involve a gun, I think firing off a frustration shot Johnny Utah-style into the infinite star-filled night sky is the way go.  Again it's unfair for me to judge, I don't know the full details and I was not there, but that would be my move.

PS - Can't get enough of the opening line of the source article..."He's not lovin' it."

Nailed it.

Samuel Adams Made a Beer That's So Potent It's Illegal in 12 States

Source - Indiana, a land known for being a wee bit stingy with its beer-buying laws, surprisingly is not one of the states where its illegal to buy Samuel Adams Utopias.

Released only every two years, the "extreme barrel-aged beer" is so potent with its 28 percent ABV (alcohol by volume) ((really, super strong)), that it's illegal in 12 states. Those are Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Idaho, Mississippi, Montana, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont and Washington, reports Fortune.

For relative scale, Bud Light is labeled at 4.2 ABV.

Additionally, due to the "extreme" barrel-aging — which Sam Adams says is "a multi-step, time-intensive and complex process" — and the rarity, that means it's gonna set you back at least $199. A bottle.


If you're lucky enough to taste Utopias, it's billed as "reminiscent of a rich vintage Port, old Cognac, or fine Sherry with notes of dark fruit, subtle sweetness, and a deep rich malty smoothness."


For those of you unfamiliar with Indiana's beer laws, here's a brief overview: You're basically not allowed to buy beer on Sundays unless it's from a microbrewery and even then you're restricted to two cases.  It's fucking stupid. There's something like 10 other states in the country that have it and they're all filled with bible thumpers and Mormons - real party animal types - so the fact that they're allowing the sale of a beer with 28 PERCENT alcohol is pretty out-of-the-box for us.  It really jams you up if you're an aspiring alcoholic such as myself, so any semblance of loosening the liquor laws in this state gets my full support.

But quite frankly, even though I don't think it should be illegal, I don't really understand selling this stuff in Indy.  This ain't the East Coast, people here aren't snooty as fuck.  Literally no one in this state is going to want to buy a single $200 bottle of beer, especially one that tastes like wine and cognac with hints of Sam Adams.  That sounds absolutely disgusting. And what the fuck is "dark fruit?"  Are they talking about blueberries and plums and shit?  All I can think of other than that is brown extra ripe bananas, and folks while I love myself a nice banana, banana beer fucking STINKS.  It pains me to say because the banana is such a delicious fruit, but alas it is true.

This seems like nothing more than a bullshit status beer.  It probably sucks, but pretentious dickheads are going to buy it so they can tell people they spent $200 on a single beer.  Meanwhile, while those are collecting dust on the shelves of Crown Liquors across Central Indiana, locals are gonna be spending the same amount for 10 cases of Bud Light.  Me personally, just give me a 15 spot of All Day IPAs and a pack of Marlboros and I'm happy as a clam.  I prefer to get my smokey undertones the old fashioned way...by inhaling them directly into my lungs roughly twenty times a day as god intended.

Andrew Luck is Officially Out for the Season. Not Good!

Source - The Indianapolis Colts are shelving Andrew Luck for 2017. The team announced Thursday the quarterback will be placed on injured reserve.

Luck underwent surgery on his throwing shoulder in January. Despite early optimism that he would be ready for the 2017 season, the Pro Bowler has missed the entire season and will be shut down for the remainder of the year.

"I wish I was better and 100 percent this season, but that's not the case," Luck told the team's official website on Thursday. "I know I'll be better from this. I know I'll be a better quarterback, teammate, person and player from this, and I'm excited for the future."

Luck missed all offseason, training camp and the preseason. He returned to practice in early October doing light throwing. After suffering a setback, the 28-year-old was held out of practices and had a cortisone injection in hopes to relieve soreness in the injured shoulder.

When that avenue didn't work, the team shut down their franchise signal-caller for the season.


Well, that stinks...I mean we all kind of figured that he wasn't going to be good to go at this point.  It's pretty much been red flags from the get go, but just seeing the word "setback" is a massive bummer.

A lot of people have been coming out and saying that he might not play again, ex-Colt D'Qwell being one of them with Steve Young being another.  I'm not sure if I buy into that yet.  Absolutely there's reason to worry and speculation is a natural thing but we're not talking about something totally degenerative like a back injury or a neck injury.  And sure I guess if you're a quarterback a healthy shoulder is kinda sorta important, but Ballard is saying surgery isn't a totally foregone conclusion.  And with the offensive line looking the way it currently does, trotting our franchise player out there to get bundled every other play when we have no chance of the playoffs would just be irresponsible, especially given our second half opponents.

We still have to play Houston twice, the Jaguars - who for whatever reason do not suck (1st in sacks), Baltimore whose tied for the league lead in turnovers plus Terrell Suggs scares the shit out of me, Pittsburgh (3rd in sacks), Denver (fewest yards allowed), and Buffalo (3rd fewest points allowed).  These are not games we would have done well in even with a fully healthy #12.  At this point we basically just have to hope for the best and hope to god the new front office is scouting their balls off because we're on course for a top 5 pick.  Hopefully, we also draft a nice fat left tackle with the grace of a Russian ballerina and the intensity of a young Owen Schmitt.

PS - I want to say this will just be more time for Andrew to grind in the film room and break down defenses but we all know he's just going to use the extra time to read books.  Such a fucking nerd.