Source - FLINT, Mich. – A community advocate in Michigan has been ordered not to attend open casket funerals as part of a plea deal reached in a theft case.
Art Wenzlaff, 76, was accused of taking a Detroit Pistons hat, a Timex watch and two bowling alley rings from a casket during a funeral service for his coworker's father in Mundy Township. He was sentenced Monday to one day in jail and five years' probation, the Flint Journal reported .
Wenzlaff pleaded no contest in August while facing charges of larceny in a building and disrupting a funeral or memorial service.
The larceny charge, which can carry a prison sentence, will be dismissed if Wenzlaff completes the probationary period without further issues, according to his attorney, Michael Manley.
Wenzlaff reached the plea deal because he "did not want to put the family through the stress of a trial," Manley said.
This is a classic fuck you old man move. Art Wenzlaff isn't some petty thief who gets his rocks off stealing from dead folks. No, Ol' Art has been carrying a grudge for whoever this dead guy was for decades. This beef goes way the fuck back, and the entire time it was going on, Art has been thinking in the back of his mind that one day, when that motherfucker dies, he'll show him what's what. Art probably hatched this plan before Y2K, maybe even some time around the end of the Cold War. This feels like a Cold War era grudge from what I know about them. A Timex watch and two bowling alley rings, that's personal. There's a history behind that, history that I feel investigators left uncovered to the utter dismay of us all. Do not worry guys, I too am upset we will never know the full story.
At the same time though, I could be totally wrong. Art did take a plea deal...maybe he didn't want the fuzz snoopin' around his spot. Say he had been stealing things out of caskets for as long as he can remember. He doesn't need no lizzie lice driving around asking questions to his neighbors, all his old friends, the folks he's been swindling for god only knows how long. They would ruin his whole plan, take all of his trinkets and trophies! He couldn't afford that, not with all the work he's put in, the hundreds of individuals he's hoodwinked over the course of his career in which case, crisis averted. That plea deal was his saving grace. One day in the clink and then he's home free; child's play. Ol' Art lives to steal again, back on his grind. Of course funerals had sort of become his bread and butter in recent years and usually it was always so easy...
"Back to the drawing board," Art mutters to himself before pouring a glass of bourbon and sauntering down into the basement.
He lifts his hand and waves it in the darkness looking for the string. He finds it and gives it a yank, lighting up the cold concrete room.
The walls are littered with bowling rings, trophies, license plates, watches, bracelets and necklaces, all glinting as they dangle on nails all along walls of the room. The fourth side of the room is one giant work in progress. A Detroit sports themed quilt made entirely of pieces of cloth from fan gear he has stolen from various homes, tailgates, and funerals over the years.
"They almost got us," Art says right before taking a sip of the bourbon. He flicks off the light and heads upstairs. They almost got him.
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