Source - Police say a damning clue led to the arrest of a Pennsylvania man charged with stealing a pot of meatballs — red sauce smeared on his face and clothes. Authorities in Luzerne County have charged 48-year-old Leahman Glenn Robert Potter with burglary, criminal trespass and theft by unlawful taking for allegedly swiping a pot of meatballs from a man's garage on Monday. Police say the victim reported his meatballs missing and told officers at around 2:30 p.m. Monday that he saw Potter standing in front of his house with red sauce on his face and clothes. The pot was found on the street. It's unclear if Potter washed the sauce off before he was arrested a short time later. Not a lot to say about this, from the looks of it we have a pretty open and shut case. The only thing that I gleaned from this little tale is the fact that Leahman Glenn Robert Potter is a very wild name that belongs to a very weird dude who seems like knows a good time when he sees one. I mean he's a 48 year old man stealing meatballs out of garages on a Monday afternoon so he's definitely doing something right, or he might just be homeless. Tough to tell, not a lot of descriptive info outside of the whole covered in sauce bit... But in all fairness, I have to admit that I would have an equally difficult time passing up a delicious treat like that. In fact, I would absolutely indulge depending on whether or not I could scope it out. If we're talking about a lightly monitored cooking operation and I have a more significant window of opportunity, I am 100% making a play on those meatballs. The veteran move would be to walk over with some bread and cheese, get a few meatballs to complete the sandwich, then bounce. You eat all the evidence and still maintain peak mobility for a dead sprint should you get discovered in the act. Easy peasy, nothing to it. And to be clear I am not saying that I've done this before, but it works really great in the spring and summertime, and graduation parties are optimal. I'm not telling anyone to do anything, it's just a little something to keep in your back pocket for later. Just in case.
Source -- Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones will appeal the NFL's decision to seek reimbursement of legal fees stemming from his actions related to Ezekiel Elliott's suspension and commissioner Roger Goodell's contract extension, a source confirmed to ESPN. The Washington Post first reported Tuesday that Jones had requested the hearing, and that it would be before Goodell. According to multiple sources, the NFL is seeking in excess of $2 million from Jones, citing a resolution that was added to the NFL constitution in 1997 that says if an owner participates in bringing litigation against other owners, he must reimburse them for the legal fees. Jones threatened to sue the NFL and retained lawyer David Boies over Goodell's contract, but he never made a filing. The Cowboys offered a letter of support in the Elliott case as the running back fought the NFL's six-game suspension. "Really don't have any comment," Cowboys executive vice president Stephen Jones said Tuesday. "I'll let Jerry address that at the appropriate time, but don't really have anything to say about that right now." Stephen Jones said he was not aware of any other time the rule has been enforced, "but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened," he said. The reimbursement action was generated by fellow owners, not Goodell, and has been approved by the league's finance committee, sources told ESPN's Dan Graziano.
First off I would like to start by saying I don't even understand why this is happening. It sounds like the NFL is entitled to reimbursement if, and only if, litigation is brought against them. And even though Jerry Jones 100% threatened to do so, he never actually did. So I don't really get why the NFL (the owners) is asking for $2 million in the form of "reimbursement." Wouldn't it be way easier to just fine Jones and the Cowboys a bunch of money for being annoying as fuck? The league basically did that with the Patriots. Granted $2 million as a straight up fine is a massive number and pretty unprecedented given the circumstances, but I still feel like it makes more sense than this. Either way, that is neither here nor there. What really matters is the fact that Jerry Jones is already appealing it and clearly has no intention of paying it. Not only that, but if I know Jerry like I think I know Jerry, he is going to fight this with every fiber of his being - in the courtroom, and in the media. Press conference temper tantrums, weird leaked information, lots of gossipy teenage girl type stuff, a couple bumbling idiot old guy meltdowns, just an overall pettiness the likes of which we have never seen. This may very well be his swan song. The other owners have clearly had enough of Jones' shit. This is their way of basically saying get in line or get the hell out. I can't imagine there is a single owner in the league or a single employee in the NFL offices that would have a problem with pushing Jones out of the way and handing the reigns of the Cowboys over to his son, Stephen. The younger Jones has always operated in a much more traditional manner much more in line with the rest of the league. Jerry is loud, boisterous, self-promoting, and has been somewhat of a massive headache to everyone in the NFL on about a hundred different occasions. And now it finally came back to bite him in the ass...Only this is Jerry fucking Jones we're talking about here. Nobody bites Jerry Jones in the ass and just gets away with it! I mean he specifically requested Goodell, this is already getting personal. The man called his shot, now we just wait and see if he can execute. I mean that, I really do hope he takes every single action he can take. And here is why: football is just more interesting than other sports. Absolutely, baseball and basketball and golf should dominate headlines when football is done, but I still want it peppered in pretty frequently and so does the rest of America. There is a reason the NFL dominates ratings and news - it's ridiculously entertaining, so shove it down my gullet like the fat little glutton I am. I want this shit dragged out all offseason like Deflategate, and I want Jerry Jones rambling like a goddamn idiot on my TV screen at least once a week. I hope they televise the appeal, and then the re-appeal and I want 50+ reporters right in Jerr bear's grill immediately after with closeups of his old, leathery face. So close you can catch glimpses of his jaw clenching as he listens to questions...
Source - Indianapolis Colts coach Chuck Pagano says Andrew Luck is "making progress" as he continues to undergo rehab in Europe. Pagano made the announcement Monday. He says the Colts have been in touch with Luck through email and text messages. Luck has not played since having surgery in January on his throwing shoulder after playing the entire 2016 season with a partially torn labrum. It looked like Luck might return after returning to practice in October. But when the pain lingered, Luck sought additional opinions and eventually Indianapolis put him on season-ending injured reserve in November. At the time, general manager Chris Ballard said he did not believe Luck will need additional surgery. Luck has not answered questions since going on injured reserve. As I'm sure everyone reading this is well aware, Andrew Luck has been in Europe for a month now getting some sort of non FDA approved treatment done on his shoulder. The procedure itself is completely fine with me. Tons of athletes have gone over there for a couple of weeks to get this special type of treatment from the team that developed it. My problem with those athletes is that they were all at or close to being at the end of their careers. Luck is 28 and supposed to getting ready to enter his age 29 season - his prime years. And he's getting a procedure done that typically is used to elongate the twilight years of several people's careers. I know I said I wasn't really nervous before, but I am officially taking this opportunity to proclaim my nervousness. Getting back on the field shouldn't be an issue, I still 100% see Luck coming back to play football. My question now is how long will he be able to play football for? Kobe started doing this type of procedure in 2012 and retired 4 seasons later, Peyton Manning was a similar case after his neck injury. Tracy McGrady did it to get a few more years out of his knees, but it seems like that's pretty much all you get - a few more years. It just sucks to think that we may lose a generational quarterback like Andrew Luck to an irreversible injury just as he is supposed to be entering his prime years. Let's just hope that isn't the case. Personally, I would much rather watch him toss for 4,000 yards and 35 touchdowns next year instead of having to watch another offense like this one but that's just me.
Any time a major social or political scandal breaks, I typically like to sit back and let the facts come out from both sides before making any judgment. Sometimes it's wise to allow the truth to unfold instead of jumping at the first sign of scandal. Then once the dust has settled I like to check in with Jose Canseco to see what he has to say about it because he almost always has the most interesting perspective on the matter at hand. Is he usually right? No, actually, quite the opposite. He usually gets way off topic and confuses not only himself, but everyone else witnessing.
Here we have Canseco's take on the recent sexual misconduct scandals breaking nationwide. Initially Jose tries to empathize, saying he too had been molested in the past. But before anyone can mistake his "shared struggle" for empathy, he immediately does a 180 and tries to big league everyone by saying he never complained. Kind of a bold move to basically call sexual assault victims pussies and snitches, but hey Jose Canseco is kind of a bold guy.
What is going on with all these politicians molesting women I've been molested by several women and never complained
Then he takes it a step further. Not only did he not complain about these injustices, but they actually made him horny! At this point we come to realize that Jose Canseco doesn't really understand what being molested means. Even without any sort of sexual context, the word 'molest' basically means bother, pester, harass. An unwanted or undesired advance. Jose readily admits that he welcomed said advances, thus hinting at the fact that he does not in fact understand what molestation is. Fascinating stuff.
Well I mean I've been beaten by women taken advantage of by women and molested by women I never complain but it was kind of a turn-on
Now Jose thinks he's got it all figured out. So you see, because he was a good looking dude it wasn't molestation when he banged those chicks, BUT if he "looked like a bag of boogers" then it would be...
I see the difference I guess cuz I was a good-looking guy and these politicians look like a bag of boogers
...So this is a little worrisome...At this point I'm pretty sure Jose is unknowingly hinting at the fact that he may have sexually harassed a few women in his day and is just now "realizing" that they haven't publicly accused him of it because he was hotter than these political nerds. Honestly I never really know what he's trying to get at so we should probably just keep moving on.
These women complaining against sexual misconduct are just racist against ugly men
And then to convolute things even further, Jose basically admits he doesn't fully understand what racist means because he confuses it with prejudiced. And that's why I love Jose Canseco on Twitter. He's the only person whose tweets consistently provide me with significantly more questions than answers.
Source - Canadians are asking questions after a foot popping up along a British Columbia beach, this week, was found to be the 13th one discovered on the coastline over the past decade. A man walking his dog discovered the 13th foot, found in a shoe along with part of a lower leg, on Thusday. It is unknown who that foot belonged to. 'Our early analysis suggests these are human remains and we will do further investigation and testing ... in the coming weeks,' said Andy Watson, a spokesman for the BC Coroners Service, to CNN. A man walking his dog found a foot with a shoe and lower leg on a British Columbia beach this Thursday, making it the 13th to be found on the coastline. The remains also included a tibia and fibula bone. According to the Coroners Service, all 12 feet found beforehand were human. Eight of the 13 were even determined to belong to six people. Foul play is not suspected in any of the cases, but the Coroners Service would not reveal how it came to that conclusion. Cause of death for the foot found this week is unknown, but the Royal Canadian Mounted Police (RCMP) and the Coroners Service are hoping to discover who it belongs to. When asked why the feet have washed ashore, Watson said: 'I'm not able to speak to' the reason. He added: 'There's no reason to believe that they (the cases) were connected in any way.'
Serious question Canada: How many severed feet have to mysteriously wash ashore with no explanation in a small area before it gets suspicious? Thirteen feet an no bodies along a single coastline seems like something that would raise a couple red flags in the States. I mean cartels in Mexico chop off hands and stuff but we know that, there's a concrete answer. "Hey what's that bloody hand doing over there?" "Somebody must have pissed off the cartel." "Ah gotcha, that's really fucked up." But in Canada we have THIRTEEN severed feet and no one's even a little curious. And I'm not anti-cop by any means, but these mounties seem like they kind of stink at their jobs. First of all, there's the fact that they had to bring it to the lab to determine whether or not the remains were human. Guys, it's an entire shinbone attached to a foot that is still wearing a sock and a shoe, pretty sure that foot belonged to a person. Add to that their PR savy, saying they can't speak to the reason meaning they don't know the reason, but also clearly stating they have no real intention to investigate. I do get what he means about there being no connections. It is pretty tough to see similarities. Aside from the fact that they're all severed feet with no accompanying body parts and they are all wearing shoes and were found in a relatively small area there's not much to discuss. The shoes are all different styles and brands without any distinct patterns. No code to crack there.
And all of this started in 2007. One year after Dexter debuted - a show about a serial killer who dumps severed body parts into the ocean - British Columbia starts having severed body parts wash ashore. Almost a decade later and 13 feet have been found and they still don't have a single working theory! At least pretend to try mounties, that's all I'm asking. Bare minimum, tell us a bear ate all of them and the feet are all that's left or some wolves got to them. Anything at all. It goes without saying but we can obviously rule out Rex Ryan as a suspect because there's a negative infinity chance he would ditch the feet of all things.
Source - Last season, a kick that went wide right in Week 17 cost Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri $500,000. This year, the snow might have kept Vinatieri from collecting an additional $500,000. Vinatieri's field goal percentage dropped to 88 percent (22 of 25) after he went 0-for-2 on field goal attempts during blizzardy conditions at New Era Field in Orchard Park, New York, against the Bills on Sunday. He would receive a $500,000 bonus for making 90 percent of his field goal attempts (with a minimum of 16 attempts) this season. He went into Sunday's game having made 95.6 percent (22 of 23) of his field goal attempts. "The footing for sure [was the toughest]," Vinatieri said after the Colts' 13-7 overtime loss, in which he missed a 43-yard attempt, which would have won the game, and a 33-yard attempt. "Trying to run through snow and get good plant -- that's crazy. If it was just snow and no wind, it's one thing. But you get both of them. It was a tough game." Vinatieri will have to go at least 5-of-5 on field goals over the next three games in order to get his percentage back up to 90 percent, which in turn will get him the bonus. He has made at least 90 percent of his field goal attempts five times in 21 NFL seasons heading into 2017. Gotta feel for Vinny here. That absolutely sucks, getting fucked over by a snowstorm in Buffalo. Even the greatest kicker to ever do it is going to have a little bit of trouble in a full blown blizzard with swirling winds and several inches of snow on the ground. And to make things even worse, going a perfect 5-5 over the next 3 games is no easy ask either with the way our offense moves. We have entire games where we are lucky to even sniff the opponents side of the field so there's always a chance he won't even get enough opportunities to even attempt to qualify. And on top of that he needs to be perfect. Just a real kick in the dick for Vinatieri. He can't be thrilled with the team's current state, the guy has always been on a winner. To handle it all with as much class as he does year in and year out is a testament to the dude's character. Now let's hope the Colts keep their shit together just enough to get Vinny his five chances. I know I said it's still tough but who do we think we're kidding here, he's a lock to sweep the board. Even with the two mishaps, he still managed to complete the single greatest extra point ever. Guy just can't stop won't stop making history. Absolute nails.
Source - Kick return specialist Devin Hester has officially announced his retirement after 11 seasons in the NFL. Hester played for the Baltimore Ravens and Seattle Seahawks last year but has not played in a game this season. "Over the last year, I've spent time reflecting on my career surrounded by friends and family, and I realized it's time for me to officially retire from the NFL," Hester said in a statement. Hester retires with the most career return touchdowns with 20 – 14 punts, five kickoffs and one missed field goal. He ended his retirement letter by saying that he hopes to see everyone in Canton for a possible Hall of Fame Induction.
CURTAINS ✌🏾 Appreciate all of the love for all these years!!! Y’all made the ride incredible!!! pic.twitter.com/jkcVrRLcNI
Happy trails to the greatest return man the game of football has ever seen. One of the only reasons it took Hester as long as it did to break the all time record was because people started to actively avoid kicking to him because he was that legitimate of a threat whenever he caught the ball with a little space. Think about that, teams were willing to sacrifice their field position in order to prevent him from busting one open, because bust ones open he did. All time record for most returns at 20, 11 of them came in his first two seasons! Not to mention he took the opening kickoff of the only Super Bowl he played and ran it to the house. The guy was on an absolutely different level than everyone else, and although I don't think a player has ever been inducted into the Hall of Fame as strictly a return specialist if anyone deserves to be, it's Devin Hester. Enjoy retirement.
Bonus Dante Hall, second best still deserves a shout out.
